So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Congratulations! We have a period
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Two words: nipple clamps
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