Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
