I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
