So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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