so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
