I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
