Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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