Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
