I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
