I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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