Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
