how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
