I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
