I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
