He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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