Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
