I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
