Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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