piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
