i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I stole a fireplace last night.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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