I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
