They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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