I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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