My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
