I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize