Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
