Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
