I am puke
Say something about gay babies.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
