let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
