Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
