i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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