I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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