If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
