Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
