Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
