Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
