Little spoons don't ask big questions
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
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Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
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Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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