And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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