Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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