i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Can I color on your dick again?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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