do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We need to rekindle our bromance
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
