he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
3 2 1 whiskey
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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