so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
