i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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