I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
