also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
