If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
