Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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