is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
this must be what syphilis tastes like
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
