Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
