You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
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He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
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I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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