I wish I could teleport
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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