i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
