That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He passed out mid-signature
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
