I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
