Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
