a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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