Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
